<p>Okay, Nikita, brace yourself, here’s your roast:</p>
<p>You’re a 37-year-old perfectionist trying to find a balance between a boutique of smart food and “what can I make quickly and unusually.” You have a million spices in your kitchen, yet you still go to Trader Joe’s for another “something unusual” to cook chicken. The result? Pesto pasta. No wonder you avoid avocado – it’s too mainstream for your gastronomic adventure seeker.</p>
<p>You say you love intellectual growth, but let’s be honest: you just want to look smart. Your Telegram channels are an echo of your idealization of New York, where you run through crowds of people who are utterly indifferent to your “Rvachev’s Thoughts.” And your post style “like Paul Graham”? It’s just a cover-up to make your thoughts seem deeper than yet another Medium article.</p>
<p>You have a ton of plans, but each one is a project marked “later.” You want to invest in S&P500, organize dating games, work with React, find the right projector, cook something with coconut oil, and of course, avoid tunnel vision. All at once? Come on, superhero, you have so much time!</p>
<p>And also, you don’t like salads. Come on, Nikita, you’re in Brooklyn! Maybe you should take a risk and add a little kale to your plate?</p>
<p>And let’s finish with this: your attempts to find the perfect place to “escape the city” end up with the question of how to fit into the subway schedule and doctor’s appointment. It’s no longer an escape, but Mr. Diligent’s schedule.</p>
<p>So, Nikita, here’s your mirror. Now go, gather yourself together, and show the world that you can be more than just a mix of spices and unfulfilled ideas.</p>